Do you want to get to the root of the problem?
Do you want to know why you sometimes…
– feel out of control?
– find yourself over-reacting?
– repeat old patterns?
– feel you have lost meaning in your life?
In most of our lives there comes a time when we realise our reactions and behavior are affecting the way we relate to people. We see ourselves repeating the same patterns and mistakes but don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. We react first and regret later. Our relationships with our loved ones suffer. We may yearn for more connection but not know how to change. We become distanced from our family. The distractions of the outside world, shopping, television, adventure, alcohol, or food can only give temporary relief. The path to understanding the subtle and not so subtle behaviours that come from our unconscious mind and drive us through our lives can take us through many challenges. Identity Therapy can give direct access to the different drivers in our unconscious. Giving voices to these drivers in our life can help us more clearly understand and resolve our behaviours.
What does a session look like?
The session starts with asking “What do you want from today’s session?” After a period of reflection, the answer to this is written down in the form of a sentence. One example might be “I want to know why I get so angry”. This “sentence of intention” becomes the safe container for the session. The client chooses a single word, to start with, from this sentence and the facilitator or the client will then stand and “resonate” with this word. By trusting the feelings, sensations and images that arise in the body of the “resonator”, a picture of the roots of the issue gradually emerges. This may include survival states, parental and family behaviors, traumatic experiences, and healthy helpful parts of our behavior. This may sound difficult, but it is actually remarkably easy once witnessed and tried. Further words are chosen from the sentence until the client chooses to stop or the answer to the original question has been revealed. The recognition and integration of these memories allows the client to reconnect with themselves at a deeper level in a safe step by step manner.
How does it work?
“Resonating” with a word is thought to occur primarily through mirror neurons and limbic resonance in our brain. Our ability to empathise with each other is based in the limbic brain, and enables us to resonate with a part of another person’s brain. This resonance can be experienced in many ways in everyday life. We are thinking of someone and then they call, or we know before someone speaks that they are pregnant. These events are tied to our subconscious awareness and are sometimes labelled ‘intuition’. When we see someone cut themselves, we often have a physical and emotional reaction that in some way ‘mirrors’ that person’s experience; in this instance the mirror neurons that fire in the brain of the person who is hurt also fire in our brain. Starting with the premise that all our memories from conception onwards are held in in our bodies, Identity Therapy uses resonance to give the client access to the memories that are relevant to the “sentence of intention” that we start the session with.
Trauma is an experience we are unable to psychologically process and it remains split off in our psyche, generating unconscious behavior. It is likely to be a part of all of our lives in one form or another. The most influential traumas often occur in early childhood, but it is worth remembering that we have also been affected by trauma that happened to our parents or grandparents, because the effects of trauma influence the availability of our parents love and attention to us as children.
For most of us the trauma that we manage every day is from a time in our life that of which we may not have a conscious memory. This is for two reasons: one is that generally the way we deal with trauma is to split the experience off and relegate it to our unconscious, thereby erasing it from our memory. The second reason is that the traumas that probably have the most influence on us are from a time before we had developed the capacity for cognitive memory (around the age of two), perhaps even before we were born. But it is becoming clear from many different areas of research that we do have a memory before that time; it is held in the cells of our body. In fact everything we need to know in order to heal our trauma is within us when we are ready to access it.
Who am I and What do I want?